December 12, 2023 by Brian Francis in Food
Scotland has gifted the world with many treasures, including the Loch Ness Monster, stuffed sheep stomach, and the voice of Sheena Easton. Scotland has also given the world shortbread.
For something traditionally made with just three ingredients (butter, flour, and sugar), shortbread shouldn’t be hard to screw up. But the simpler something is, the more complicated it can be. (Ouch, that sentence made my brain hurt.)
With the holiday season upon us, and shortbread showing up in every grocery aisle, I had to wonder: Which brand is best? I taste-tested 12 different kinds, ranging in price from $1.25 to $12. I also made a recipe to see how homemade shortbread stacks up against store-bought.
I asked fellow writer and shortbread aficionado, Amanda Leduc, to taste alongside me. Amanda recently returned from a writing retreat in Scotland. While there, she did her own Scottish shortbread taste test which you can check out on her Instagram. To avoid bias, neither of us knew which brand we were tasting, and we only ranked plain shortbread.
Which shortbread was short on taste and which brand sung like a wee bonnie lass? Read on to find out.
1) Farm Boy
Any time a package proclaims “100% real” ingredients, that’s a red flag for me. It’s like juice labels that read, “Now contains real juice!” What was it made with before? Gasoline?
Tasting Notes: “The texture doesn’t feel like shortbread to me,” Amanda said. “It’s like all the elements are there, but it’s somehow off.” (Brian’s note: Many of the people I dated in my twenties said the same about me.) 4/10
I thought the texture was okay, but this shortbread gave me a strong Crisco vibe. Like when you eat a teaspoon of Crisco, and it leaves a coating on your tongue. And yes, I’ve eaten Crisco. It was considered a health food in the ‘70s. 4/10
2) Biskwi, $1.25
Coming in as the cheapest brand, I picked this up at the dollar store. I’m not sure the brand name rings authentically Scottish, but I appreciate the plaid pattern on the box and the seal that apparently represents nothing. I’m going to cut out the seal and pin it to my coat so people think I’m important. Did this dollar store brand deliver?
Tasting Notes: As soon as Amanda tasted this, she shook her head. “No, just no,” she said. “The taste feels artificial in some way. It’s more like a cookie than shortbread.” 3/10
I thought this one tasted weird. It had a coconut undertone, which confused me. It was fine as a cookie, but not a shortbread. Still, if you’ve got $1.25 and low expectations, Biskwi might be your best bet. 3.5/10
3) Mary MacLeod’s, $12
This was the most expensive shortbread I bought and certainly had the classiest packaging. And with a name like Mary MacLeod, can you really go wrong? Still, as my panettone taste test proved, expensive doesn’t always equate to good taste.
Tasting Notes: “This one is a bit sweet and has more of a lingering taste,” Amanda noted. “It’s brown around the edges, which adds a crispiness. It’s interesting but doesn’t deliver the heft I’m looking for.” 6.5/10
I tasted some caramel notes, and thought the texture was good. The biscuit was on the hard side, which gave my teeth a workout. I found it an overall satisfying shortbread experience, even though the biscuits looked like eyeballs. 7/10
4) GaGa, $5.99
I got this brand for gluten intolerant and vegan readers. Can we take a moment to truly marvel at the machine that is Lady Gaga? Singer, actress, fashion icon, and now shortbread maker! But would her shortbread leave us with pah-pah-pah-poker face?
Tasting Notes: This one got another head shake as soon as Amanda tasted it. “It’s not working in the way it should. I understand the need for vegan and gluten-free options, but this one isn’t for me.” 2/10
I immediately sensed something was off with this biscuit. The texture was brittle and there was a weird aftertaste. It felt like it was pretending to be something it wasn’t. Which, if I’m going to be honest, sums up the entirety of my closeted teenaged years. 2/10
5) Laura Secord, $6.99
I didn’t know that Ms. Secord made shortbread fingers. I always associate her with butterscotch suckers and those sugared jellied fruit wedges that your Great Aunt Eleanor is fond of. Did Ms. Secord’s shortbread snap?
Tasting Notes: Amanda noted the unsugared top. “This is also in the mid-range. The texture is lighter and crumblier but, ultimately, it’s not leaving a lasting impression.” 6.5/10
I found Ms. Secord’s biscuit too gritty. And it tasted a bit dusty. I also didn’t get a butter flavour. I wasn’t a fan. But Great Aunt Eleanor might feel otherwise. 3/10
6) Our Finest, $5.87
I appreciated the high saturated fat warning on the bottom right corner of this Wal-Mart brand. Although, if you’re giving this shortbread as a gift, it might send a mixed message. “Here’s some shortbread, Harold. Don’t eat too much or else you may clog an artery and die. Happy Holidays!”
Tasting Notes: “When I think of the magic of shortbread,” Amanda said, “It’s how the heft and the taste work together. I think about it standing up to a pot of British tea. This shortbread does that.” 7.5/10
I thought this one had a nice texture, the flavour was a bit bland, but not a bad effort. It was a step up from the other grocery store brands we tried. 7/10
7) Panache, $4.99
Panache is Sobey’s house brand. The package colour was very similar to Mary MacLeod’s. I’ve tried the Panache line before, namely their egg nog, to lacklustre results. So, did Panache pack a punch?
Tasting Notes: “The heft of this one is closer to what shortbread should be,” Amanda said. “Although I’m missing the sugar on top. I like that little bit of extra crunch. There’s something a little off about the taste. I’m not sure how to describe it. It’s just unremarkable.” 7.5/10
I liked that it wasn’t too sweet, and it had a good crunch. But there was nothing memorable that would have me coming back. Passable, but lacking the panache I look for in my life. 6/10
8) Peek Freans Shortcake, $4.99
I realize this might be a controversial inclusion in a shortbread taste test, but when I was growing up, this was the closest we got to actual shortbread. Plus, you could buy it year-round. I thought it was worth tasting again, if only in the name of reclaiming my long-lost childhood.
Tasting Notes: “I give this marks for participation,” Amanda said. “But this one is coming in at 1/10. Maybe 1.5 if I’m feeling generous. This leaves no impression at all.”
Look, I know it’s not technically shortbread, but this cookie got me through some lonely afternoons as a child. I think it stood the test of time and yes, I would’ve eaten the entire box while watching an episode of Scooby Doo. Clearly nothing has changed for me since I was eight. 5/10
9) President’s Choice, $3.99
Generally speaking, the President’s Choice line isn’t bad, depending on what you buy. And who can resist poring over the new holiday products when the Insider’s Report lands? Also, PC makes a shortbread ice cream but that’s a whole other taste test.
Tasting Notes: “This one is denser,” Amanda said. “And I like the sprinkling of sugar on top. It lingers in a nice and not overpowering way.” 8/10
I appreciate a thick finger and this PC cookie delivered. A subtle crunch that was complemented with a sugar crust dusting and a hint of salt. This president has my vote. 8/10
10) Walkers, $4.49
Walkers is the granddad of shortbread. It’s so famous, even the Queen appointed it! I see these familiar plaid boxes everywhere during the holidays. But is Walkers worth the hype or should it just walk(er) on by?
Tasting Notes: “I want a biscuit that holds up when paired with a cup of tea,” Amanda said. “This one would. It has a good texture and is close to what the perfect shortbread should be.” 8/10
I thought it had a nice texture and it was a substantial biscuit. That said, I didn’t really find anything too remarkable about it. I realize I’m going to have the Monarchy coming after me for saying that. 6/10
11) Longo’s $6.99
I’ve had less than stellar results with the Longo’s brand before. Their panettone didn’t live up to my expectations, even though they’re an Italian grocery store. So, I was dubious. Would Longo’s shortbread redeem them?
Tasting Notes: Amanda noted the thinness of this shortbread. “It’s not too sweet, which I like,” she said. “That way, you can eat more. But it’s not my favourite. It’s good, but it doesn’t leave a lasting impression.” 5/10
I thought the texture was on the sandy side. This finger would do in a pinch, but it’s not something I’d go back to. Longo’s, you’ve got a long-o way to go. 6/10
12) World’s Best, $5.99
I have my doubts when anything proclaims itself as the world’s best anything. How are you going to prove that? It’s like me saying I’m the world’s best Celine Dion lip-syncher, which is true, but how will I ever prove it?
Tasting Notes: “It’s serviceable,” Amanda said. “It has a nice crunch and a slightly caramelized taste. But it’s not a shortbread I’d keep coming back to.” 5/10
I thought this shortbread was one of the top ones. It had an outer rim of sugar which heightened the crunch factor, and it had a strong finish. Maybe not the world’s best. But a definite contender. 8/10
13) Homemade
I found a recipe online that seemed authentic. Well, as authentic as anything you find online these days. The recipe said to bake the shortbread at 280 degrees Fahrenheit for 35-40 minutes. That seemed weird. I’ve never cooked anything at that temperature before. I let it go for 35 minutes before cranking it up to 325 and letting it bake for an additional 10 minutes. How would my homemade version hold up?
Tasting Notes: “This doesn’t taste like shortbread,” Amanda said. “The texture doesn’t feel like shortbread to me. If you were on a desert island and this was your only option, maybe it would do.” (Brian’s note: This is the point I withered like a Scottish thistle.) 3/10
I had to admit my version had a greasy taste and was on the chewy side – not a good look for shortbread. It was too sweet for my liking and a bit doughy. Clearly, I’m a shortbread threat to no one. 4/10
The Verdict…
It all came down to a chosen few. After a careful re-examination between her top choices, Walkers and President’s Choice, Amanda ultimately chose President’s Choice as the winner. My top two were President’s Choice and World’s Best. I picked President’s Choice, too. We have a unanimous winner! Sound the bagpipes!
In terms of the worst, neither of us felt born this way for GaGa, but given its purpose, it didn’t feel right to compare it alongside its non-vegan and gluten shortbread siblings. When comparing the other brands, Amanda would stay clear of Biswki (and Peek Freans Shortcake) and I’d run from Laura Secord.
Did we miss your favourite shortbread? Post a comment and let us know!
Thanks to my cohort Amanda for going on this buttery journey with me. Check out Amanda’s website, her Instagram account, and her newsletter, Notes From A Small Planet, that explores grief and astronomy.
And if you spot a large-eared man at No Frills wearing a Biskwi cardboard seal pinned to his jacket, please make a point to say hello.
Happy Holidays!
