How do I tell my friend about her B.O.? (2024)

We asked for your best advice on the following question:

This is a delicate one. One of the newer girls in our group of friends has body odor — and it's bad. She's a really nice girl, but she's sensitive, and we're afraid to say something to her because we don't want to hurt her feelings. She'll be so mortified if we tell her — but obviously everyone is talking about her and the way she smells. How do we handle this without embarrassing her to death?

When you are with her, don't just blurt out in front of everyone, "YOU SMELL BAD!" That will make her feel worse. When you and she are alone, gently say it to her, and give suggestions to make it better. That may help.

By Jenna Quaranta, Goshen

This is delicate — I think it would be a good thing to tell your new friend about this, but be nice about it. If it is something genetic, then tell her going to a doctor would be great. If it is something she needs to improve, tell her some ways she can improve her smell. No one should make fun of her because of it. Since she is your friend, you should stand up for her if she gets picked on, or help her by telling them to stop. She may be sensitive, but telling her would help her get help for her problem. Be nice and be gentle about it. I hope she gets better on this.

By Shannon Waizenegger, Pine Bush

You could just tell her what people think about her. Or you could put something that would help her body odor go away in her locker or her book bag and don't let her know it was you. That's what I would do, but if you don't want to do that because you think it's mean, then just talk to her about your soap and shampoo and how you like it and then be like, "Yeah, it's a really good shampoo or it's a really good soap," and then maybe she would get convinced and try it. I know that sounds kind of weird, but sometimes I want to tell someone something but I don't want to hurt their feelings and so I do that and most of the time it works.

By Rebecca Jacobini, New Paltz

It's best to tell her the truth, rather than gossip about her behind her back. Let her know very nicely that she has body odor, and that you're not trying to hurt her but that people are talking. Tell her you don't want to see her get hurt from people teasing her.

By Randi Hill, Port Jervis

I have experience with this question. One of my friends had this same exact problem. What my friends and I did was take her into a private room and explain. We just said, "We are your friends and we want to be able to tell you everything and we want to be honest." Then we politely told her that she smelled bad and people were making fun of her because of it. We said we were sorry for saying it harshly (there is no easy way to tell someone straight up that they smell bad) and that we just didn't want her getting hurt. People were really hurting my friend's feelings by sticking deodorant and soap on her desk and saying it was from the whole school. If I were you, I would tell her before your school gets really mean and starts saying it to her face. You are her friend and I know that if you were in her situation you would want her to tell you. Just tell her in a private place and tell her you want to be a good friend and you don't want to see her get hurt.

By Kriste Handforth, New Windsor

Well, you definitely need to keep this nice girl's feelings in mind. So my advice is that someone should take her aside alone and gently tell her. But to make light of the situation, you should maybe offer some advice like your favorite perfume or deodorant to her. And remember: True friends are willing to tell each other the truth. She will thank you in the end.

By Alexis Bogart, Slate Hill

Well, you need to get one of the girls in the group (the one closest to the girl with the odor) to have her talk with the girl with the odor. You never know; the girl with the odor may have a medical condition, or maybe she needs a stronger deodorant. Make sure when you have one of the girls talk to her that you have the girl take the girl with the odor aside! That way one of her friends would be telling her in private, instead of having people laugh at her in the hallways. Just trust me.

By Sierra-Danae Wheeler, Maybrook

I would talk to my friends and tell them that we are going to have a chat together. We all would have to pick one thing to say we think is wrong about each other, so we wouldn't make the one girl feel left out. Then before we started our chat, I would say that the best thing about friendship is that no matter what you say, even if it hurts, you mean nothing bad, only good, so friends can better one another.

By Elijah Torres, Liberty

If you say she's sensitive, maybe you should indirectly bring up the topic. If you're with a group of friends, casually start talking about deodorants, body sprays, lotions, etc. Perhaps she will get the message this way; then it will be an easier transition when you start talking to her. The best way to do it is to let her know that you and your friends know that other students are making fun of her and that it bothers you to see that happening to one of your friends. Also mention that you will help her with this problem in any way. Hopefully, she'll realize where you and your friends are coming from, and won't take this personally.

By Samantha Mascia, Milford, Pa.

I would ask to speak to the girl one-on-one so no one can hear the conversation and explain hygiene tips you learned in health class and the importance of them as we grow. I would even tell her the brand of deodorant and soap you use and suggest she try them. If you feel the conversation is going well and you and she are comfortable, then mention that someone had made a very small comment about her hygiene and you are only looking out for her.

By Brittany Ambrosino, Montgomery

Next week's question

I'm a talkative person — at least I was at my old school. My problem is, English is my second language, so I have an accent and sometimes I have trouble expressing myself. I've tried to improve my English, but people still have trouble understanding me. Because of that, they don't like to talk to me and I hate going to my new school because I'm lonely there. What can I do to get people to talk to me?

Please write your best advice in 250 words or less, and e-mail bgilhooly@th-record.com by Monday, April 11, with "What Would You Do" in the subject line. E-mails are strongly preferred, but if you can't get to a computer, send to Brenda Gilhooly, Times Herald-Record, 40 Mulberry St., Middletown, NY 10940. Please include a photo, either by e-mail or snail mail. And if you have a suggested question for a future Question of the Week, please send it, as well.

How do I tell my friend about her B.O.? (2024)

FAQs

How to tell a friend about body odor? ›

In terms of the more immediate problem, you simply need to speak to her as kindly as you can. Tell her that she may not be aware but you've noticed that her body has had an unpleasant odor the last several times you've been together.

How to tell a girl she smells nice? ›

The best way is to make it a part of a conversation and not a separate conversation. For instance, when you meet her say, “you smell great! *big smile* So, how was your day today?” Don't drag the topic by asking what fragrance she is wearing or that you have noticed her smell each time you met her.

How to politely tell someone they smell on Reddit? ›

"Hey, this is embarrassing, but I need to tell you something. That deodorant you use is not working, you smell like BO, to the point that other people have noticed. We need to find you a better brand and you gotta wash your cloths more often."

How to confront someone about their body odor? ›

Be honest and kind but also be direct, don't try and tackle the problem by means of well intended hints. Ask them what may be causing the odour and how you can help. Take notes—you may need them if you need to handle the situation formally.

Do girls find smell attractive? ›

It has been established that women tend to rely more heavily on olfactory cues than males, rating those with pleasant body odour as more attractive than those with less pleasant body odour. Moreover, body odour and sexual attraction can be enhanced using artificial fragrances and dietary habits.

How do girls stay smelling good? ›

Pairing a scented body wash with a matching lotion, fragrance oil, and perfume is a great trick for ensuring you always smell good.

What to do if my friend smells bad? ›

Help out a friend, tell them if you can.
  1. Have the conversation in private.
  2. Focus on your friendship and your concern for his success, not the problem.
  3. Listen to what he has to say, and offer suggestions if you can.
  4. Assure him that the conversation will remain completely confidential.

How to politely tell someone they have bad breath? ›

Always begin with endearments and be a little hesitant to let them know that you are not saying this to make them feel bad. But be direct in your statement. For instance, “Darling, I hate to do this but I would want someone to point at me when I have it… So, I thought you should know that you have a bad breath now.

How do you politely tell someone at work their body Odour is repulsive? ›

With this issue, body odor, as with most other issues, go through the front door. This means sitting down, in private, with the employee and saying, “I need to discuss an issue with you that is personal in nature and likely uncomfortable to discuss, but we need to talk about it candidly, and that is your body odor.

How do you describe someone's body smell? ›

Body odor can smell sweet, sour, tangy or like onions. The amount you sweat doesn't necessarily impact your body odor. That's why a person can have an unpleasant body odor but not be sweaty. Conversely, a person can sweat excessively but not smell.

How do I talk to my roommate about body odor? ›

Communication with Smelly Roommates

Your communication options: face-to-face, meet at a café, meet at your dinner table, go on a walk, call, text, or leave a hand-written note.

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